sunflower262

Been to busy to even log on much less post a blog. These 11-11’s are killing me, but I have lost 12 pounds so far and I know it is because I’m not just sitting around the house anymore. Gonna try to get in some gym time this week. Wish me luck 

So when he came back withthe crawfish he had a card from him and one from the kids. He also put some money in the card. So he is out of the dog house for now.

Ok so today is mothers day, but it is also my husband’s b-day. I get up and get his gift and other little things I needed for the house and then we were gonna meet the rest of the fam for lunch/dinner. Well I get a call that says change of plans we are going to the resort to swim. Well of course I am still getting some things done so I say ok we will go out to eat tonight. I get home and start getting ready when they come in, I say “we’re still going right” and he says ” I guess but I don’t fill like it. Do you still want to go?” Well I say yes b/c it is my day too. He is out side with his brother for a few minutes then comes in and tells me they are just gonna get some crawfish and come back here. Well I DO NOT EAT ANY OF THAT STUFF!!!!!!!!!!NO sea food at all!!! We have been married for 12 years and this is not something new. I don’t know why I am so hurt by this it’s nothing new. He always does what he wants. Oh yea and he didn’t even get me a card!!!!!!!!!! The same thing last year and I had just had our son 2 weeks before mothers day. He can’t even get me a card!!!! What an ass. Now don’t get me wrong he is a wonderful man a great father but he just can’t get how much it hurts me when he does this. It would be different if it was just a sometime thing but it is not…it is a birthday, christmas, easter, a you name you got it type of thing. He will never ever change. He is my husband and I love him but he cuts me to the bone on days like today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This weekend was so awesome!! We spent the weekend at the resort with family. We cooked out and swam all day (good workout) spent time talking and laughing…what a reat time. Then today I got the call I was waiting for. Mrs. Orosco we would like to offer you the job…. Hell yea !!!!!!!!!! It is 12 hour shifts in the ER but no more sitting around the house eating.

Ok so I wanted to go to the gym around 1 today b/c there is less people there, but my husband had to go back to work so I have to wait until he gets home around 5. Well I hate going then b/c all the “body builders” are there and as I’m sure you all know being the only fat person makes you fill very uncomfortable  so I said I’m not going. Well get over yourself already!!!!!!!!!!!!Get off your fat ass and go to the gym. You will never lose the weight unless you do the work. So what if they look at you. You will be thin soon enough and then they won’t be able to take there eyes off of you. It is time you stop makink excuses. Who made you fat…you did. Who was lazy…you were. You are the only one that can fix it so put on your big girl panties and get on with your work out!!!!!

And that my friends is how you tell yourself off

Ok so if you have seen my other post today I have one that ask why am I so hungry……. I looked over my food journal and 95% of the time I have eaten mostley carbs!!!!!!!!!! I have only been watching my calories b/c the dr put me on a 1200 calorie diet. I know the carbs break down and digest faster than protein. I need to try to get more balance although I’m not to sure what that balance should be. Maybe 60 % protein 20% carbs and 20% fats????? Any suggestions????????????

I found a great bread with only 45 calories per slice……………..Sara Lee Delightful 100% Whole Wheat Bread. Most breads are 100 calories per slice so thats 200 calories in just one sandwich. If you pair it with almost any of the Boar’s Head Deli Meats you can have lunch for under 200 calories……..Yum Yum:):):):)

I am so hungry all of the time and I don’t understand it. I eat a high fiber diet and I drink about 88oz of water a day so why am I so hungry? I know hunger is the main reason diets fail and I don’t want to. what can I do? I have this dream where I am at the fridge and I am skinny from the back then I turn around, the fridge is empty, and I am huge. Is this my fate? Am I destined to be fat? I fight the urge to eat a fat T-bone every day. I have been craving a T-bone. Is there anything I can do? I know I have to stay strong, but is my will power stonger than my stomach?

Well the day was great, but I totaly went over my calories by 452 calories . The thing is I try to plan my meals ahead of time, which I did yesterday so I knew I was over but I didn’t really care. I know one bad day won’t hurt if I keep it just ONE bad day. I hope I’ll stick to the plan today. I need to add exercise to the plan but I have no motovation. I just can’t get up and do it. I need a walking buddy. My sister-in-law will walk with me but she works weird hours so it will never be consistant. That is just another excuse not to go walking I guess. I just need to get off my A@! and do it. I need Jillian from the biggest loser to come to my house and get in my face, maybe then I’ll do it :0 lol.

I had a great weekend. It was my son’s 1st b-day party. I love that all my friends and family were there to celebrate this milestone in his life. The Styx River Resort was beautiful. I love the fact they have pools and grills so you work off all the calories you eat. I was glad I stuck to the calories. I just knew I would blow it but I held strong. Almost a whole week and I think I’ll make it this time